Journey through a Mom’s Heart

Among clusters of growing parents who are arrested to work, who are striving day and night to function as one cohesive unit amidst this mechanical life, wherein their achievements or struggles are hardly singular, wherein their anxieties and qualms are communal, we behave NO different to them.

Whether we consider ourselves Theist or Atheist but at the end we all are gunning for a similar goals, to be able to impart good learning, have good parenting (hmm which we all doubt about – almost at all stages while raising our little ones), to be able to raise gentle and tolerant kids, kids that more accepting kids that are not shying away from our family values. But for me along with all the other goals what lays the foundation for a child is the capability of making decision, an ability to choose a path, a path that could lead to almost nowhere but to the child it is most satisfying, because they choose it with all their heart. As parents recognizing the ability of your child to be able to make a self-decision and rewarding with small enticements (not that I encourage spending here, it could be as small box of chocolates) will accelerate the child’s self-confidence and bring the best out of them. As the famous quote goes

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – Dalai Lama

Alike many others this topic of conversation, tête-à-tête over GOD may appear to be too tricky to handle, but I suggest like I always do is “To Talk”, “To Talk with an Open Mind”, “To Talk as a Tolerant Parent”, “To Talk with an Acceptance” and “To Talk with a lot of Compassion”. It may not be a simple topic to deal with, yet not as complicated to deter it.

A common problem we all face is when we as parents try to impose our beliefs on our children, beliefs that we want our children to believe, beliefs that we have grown up listening too, beliefs that controls our actions in life, beliefs that are non- questionable and above all commonly and socially followed. Here’s my suggestion, while we recognize that we are well guided by the teachings of our faith in our respective religions, but we can always chart a new course to our families. All we need is to be more accepting and handle the change more gracefully. Coupling with values or as new age schools term it “LIFE SKILLS ” we unavoidably need to deliberate on “Empathy”, “Sympathy”, “Compassion”, “Good Touch/ Bad Touch”, “Self-Defense”, “Importance of Health” and leading them all is “Decision Making”.

Yes, expose your kids to many religions, travel to many locations, embrace other cultures, appreciate the essence of belief every community holds in their rituals and use the magical power you possess “TALK”, talk to them about why various holidays are observed in their school, how India is welcoming to all communities and each has their space and respect. Somewhere in the middle of discussion you will realize you have evolved into a secular parent instantaneously. My experience of talking with my girl began, when she questioned me “Why there are various kinds of temple, why some of my friends only go to Gurudwara, why they don’t go to Mosque, why I don’t go to a Church, Why we have so many Gods, Why All Gods have different names in different religions and this went on and on…It was a like a Tsunami of WHY’s, but these questions are worth contemplating.

According to a study – Curious children ask a staggering 73 Questions every Day.. half of which parents struggle to answer. Unsurprisingly, almost one third of the 1,500 mothers and fathers polled said the constant interrogation is exhausting, but four in ten did admit their child’s interest in the world around them made them proud parents.

Amid the bombardment of who, what, when and why my  Answer remained constant – that there’s one Power all of us as human beings lay our faith upon – to guide in our lives. With incalculable count of human beings are incalculable name and belief attached to the Power. She was already devoured by curiosity and gradually I could realize she’s started her journey to the path of decision making, path that could almost lead her nowhere immediately , but definitely the most satisfying, a path that she choose that self -answer to her curious mind.

“Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.”  — Jess Lair